Meeting David Sedaris

I saw a sign a while ago advertising that David Sedaris would be speaking at my local Chapters branch. I read Me Talk Pretty One Day several years ago while vacationing in Switzerland and scrounging through my father's large collection of pass-around books. I really enjoyed it and always intended to read more, but I just never got around to it. In any case, I was fairly interested to attend the event.

And then promptly forgot all about it.

That is, until a friend who also writes a book review blog just happened to review Sedaris's new book, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk. Hoping I hadn't missed it, I looked it up online and found that it was going to be on the next day! I do love coincidences!

My husband picked me up from work and we went out to dinner and did a little New Year shopping. The event wasn't until 7pm and I finish work at 4pm, so we had quite a bit of time to kill. Of course, it was freezing and so at about 5:30, we decided just to go to Chapters and hang around until the event began. Good thing we did because the place was already pretty packed.

We bought a copy of Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk and then my husband left (due to his work schedule, he has to get to sleep early). So I was standing in line until my back started hurting too much and I sat on the floor.

More and more people were showing up, and someone asked the woman behind me if she could move up to give more people room. "There's a pregnant girl here," she said, perhaps a little indignantly. Then she leans down to me: "Honey, you just sit right there, okay? You can come up in front of me when we get close, but you don't have to move, okay?" I thanked her and the line moved on without me.

A minute or two later, another older woman leans down to me and says "they're getting a chair for you." I was rather surprised, and I asked her if she was the one who had told the staff to do so. "A pregnant woman shouldn't have to sit on the floor," she responded. Then I see it - the chair was floating above the crowd, slowly making its way in my direction. A short woman in staff uniform was carrying it raised above her head and trying to make it through the press of people. She put it down when she got to me and motioned to a young man also in uniform. "He's organizing the event. He's going to take care of you, okay?"

The young man took up the chair and told me that they were going to put me at the front, asking if that was all right. Who am I to say no? So we went through the crowd (something of a walk of shame, I felt like some VIP who doesn't have to obey all the rules for 'commoners'), and he set the chair down all the way at the front, extending the front row of seats so that I was sitting next to a security guard and a speaker. "Is it okay for the speaker to be here? Is this going to be okay?" asked the staffer. Are you kidding me? Like I'm going to fuss at this point!

It was still very early, with perhaps another hour to go before the official start of the event, when David Sedaris showed up. To keep things moving, he started signing books right away. An announcement was made that he would be staying until everyone had their books signed, no matter how long it took, but that there were two conditions: 1) No photography of any kind (close-up or from far), and 2) That to get a book signed, David Sedaris was requesting that we tell him a joke in exchange. I don't know if the first rule was David's or Chapters's, but I think it might be the latter since my book doesn't have an author portrait in it.

In any case, I was now in the first line, so I got to move up for the signing pretty quickly. I overheard him trying to guess people's Zodiac signs, which was rather funny because people sounded impressed when he got them right even though he was mostly getting them wrong. "I don't believe in astrology," he said. "But it's fun to try guessing."

The girl two spots ahead of me told her joke and David howled with laughter. When the next one came up, he asked her if she'd heard the joke. When she replied that she hadn't, he told it to her:

What did the pedophile say when he was released from jail? I feel like a kid again!

The person in front of my wanted a book-on-tape signed, so David pulled out his trousse and got a silver pen. He came prepared!

As I stepped up, he was talking about how he prefers listening to books on tape rather than reading them because it means he can get his ironing done at the same time. "You can read and iron at the same time, it just takes a bit of practice," I said - being an expert at doing chores one-handed since my university days offered me the choice between learning to do both or skipping out on one (sleep was already being minimized as far as it would go). "You can do that because you're a Sagittarius," he replied. I'm not.

"How many of these have you actually gotten right?" I asked.

"I'm not doing to well tonight, but..." He motioned to the Chapters events rep standing behind him, "she can back me up on this, I was getting them all right last night!"

"Oh yes," chimed in the woman. "I don't think you missed any!"

Then he asked me for my joke. I'd been thinking ever since the announcement was made, but I couldn't think of anything to say. In a panic, I said that I only know the ones about the two tomatoes crossing the road.

"Ketchup?" he asked. Yes. "Yeah... Listen, why don't I tell you a joke instead?" I failed. Here's the joke he told me:

Why does it suck having sex with Jesus? Because he's always trying to come into your heart.

So there you have it!

I went back to my seat and read Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk until 7pm.

He read the title story of the book, as well as a story about a fly eating vomit that was apparently excluded from the print version of the book (but is on the audio version) because his editors told him it was too gross. He played with two little sound-effects toys, then he recommended that we all buy a book called Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned (saying that we ought to buy this book before any of his own) and read a few passages from it. To finish off, he read out some passages from his diary.

While I was listening to him speak, I kept hearing this snorting noise coming from the right. The only person there was a dour security guard. It was truly a mystery. So I decided to keep an eye on that guard (clandestinely, of course, because security guards don't generally like it when you stare...).

Sure enough, I soon caught him snorting, face all scrunched up, trying to keep control of himself. The poor man had an image to protect, and here was this author, this comedian, ruining everything!

It was a great night and I really enjoyed the experience. David Sedaris seems like a really nice guy - or, at least, a really good actor. I was also very impressed with the staff and customers who worked together to provide assistance to a complete stranger!

Pregnancy Books

Inspired by the joyous news that our friends are now expecting, I had a look at the "baby stuff" section of my library and discovered a couple pregnancy books that I had just completely forgotten about. I read them all cover-to-cover while we were trying to conceive and then they just went on the shelf. But before I re-gift them to the next happy couple, I thought I'd share a few impressions...

Dr. Spock's Pregnancy Guide, by Marjorie Greenfield: Very medicine-centred, although midwives and alternate caregivers are also mentioned. This book breaks the pregnancy down into week ranges, covering the changes you can expect in the baby, the changes in you, what you might be feeling/experiencing and what you can do to mitigate unpleasant experiences, and what your caregiver might do (tests, recommendations, etc.). It does cover many of the emotional aspects of pregnancy - such as mom's concerns, or dad's feelings - and tends to take a very 'medical'/OB approach. It does include little "parent to parent" boxes where people who are pregnant or have recently been share some of their experiences. It's a good way of humanising the material, I found. One thing that concerned me a bit - and this may be an issue of editions - is that some of the advice given in the book is dismissed in the materials I receive from my midwife. For example, the Dr. Spock's says that one benefit of getting an episiotomy is that it's much easier to stitch up than a tear, while the materials my midwife gave me say that episiotomies "start" a tear and actually make it more likely that force-tearing will occur. (Ladies, be ready for tons and tons of contradictory information. This seems to be endemic to the whole pregnancy discourse.)

The Mother Of All Pregnancy Books, by Ann Douglas: The great thing about this book is that it's written specifically for Canadian moms-to-be. One of the big frustrations about being Canadian is that it's so hard to find information that isn't coming out of the US. For many topics, this isn't such a big deal, but anything relating to health is so different between the two countries that very little practical advice from the US is applicable to us. So while there are certainly variations from province to province, this book at least gets it in the right ballpark.

I would say that, out of all the books, this was the most useful. It covers everything from "are you ready to conceive?" to "baby's home... now what?" I found the table of contents to be much more useful than the Dr. Spocks because it didn't just list the chapters, but listed the actual content as well. This made finding the parts I wanted to re-read much easier. I also found that there was a lot more emphasis on dealing with the emotional side of pregnancy. For example, a whole section is devoted to answering specific concerns (organized by trimester). I've also noticed that the advice given in this book tends to be closer to the advice I get from my midwife.

What To Expect When You're Expecting, by Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi Murkoff, and Sandee Hathaway (I have an older edition): A staple of every pregnant family's library, we bought What to Expect because doing so is as much a part of being pregnant as getting really really big. Much like Dr. Spock's, this book does break its advice down by stage (months, in this case). Each month gets an overview of the baby's changes, your changes, possible symptoms, what you can expect at your prenatal visits, etc. It also covers other topics in detail, such as diet, choosing a practitioner. I liked that it was more detailed than Dr. Spock's and broke its table of contents down in the same way that The Mother Of All Pregnancy Books does. The only thing I don't like about the month-by-month format is that there isn't really a "normal" pregnancy, and I can see areas where I experienced symptoms in the "wrong" month. If you're going to read this, don't just read the month you are on - rather, give the whole book a read-through at least once right at the beginning.

The Pregnancy Bible: I won't be getting rid of this one quite yet as I'm still making use of it. This book is much better illustrated than the other three (in that it's actually illustrated), with lots of glossy, full-colour photographs and artists' renditions. The downside, of course, is that the content isn't nearly as detailed. Other than a skim, I haven't actually bothered reading the whole book, since I simply wasn't finding anything new that wasn't covered far better in the other three books.

What I like about this book is the section on fetal development. Each week gets its own photograph (or drawn representation), along with approximate weight and size of the baby, and a little description of what changes the baby is going through ("Your baby is beginning to look almost human now, and her tail has nearly vanished," for example). It's been something of a tradition since we dated our pregnancy to sit together at the start of each week and read the relevant blurb.

If you are someone who learns through books, this should not be your primary resource. This is a fun book, not one you want to be getting most of your information from.

My Thoughts On Pregnancy Books

A co-worker complained to me that she couldn't read any pregnancy books because they made her worry too much. Any good resource is going to cover all the things that can go wrong, and if you have the kind of personality that will then imagine that everything is going wrong, you probably don't want to spend too much time with these books.

I'm the complete opposite. For me, reading about all the horrible things that can go wrong make me feel powerful, like I'll be ready if any of these things happen. If you're more like me, you'll probably want to read as much as you possibly can! Just make sure you know yourself and, if you find that you are getting overwhelmed, stop reading.

If you do read more than one book, you will find that there are many contradictions - often on matters that should be simply "is there or is there not?" questions. Do episiotomies prevent tearing or cause tearing? How complicated could that question possibly be? Very, apparently. So be prepared. My advice would be never to stick with a single source - read as many books/websites and talk to as many healthcare professionals as you can and make your own decision based on what seems the most plausible to you. That being said, be prepared to change your mind as you receive new information or experiences. The most dangerous thing, I would say, is to decide that one side has the "right" answer and to follow that even when it's clearly not working for you and your body.

The other thing you will likely notice is that these books can make you feel very guilty. Pregnant women sometimes have cravings and we just really really want that cheeseburger. We also have social obligations and find ourselves in our favourite restaurants knowing that we're not supposed to eat the things we like any more. My philosophy is this: Avoid the really bad stuff, eat healthy overall, and forgive yourself when you occasionally eat something that isn't so healthy. After all, if you're going to break your dietary ideals, you should at least be able to enjoy the experience! Thankfully, most pregnancy books nowadays will take this more flexible approach, but you will find some pretty crazy sticklers out there. Pregnancy comes with all sorts of symptoms and discomfort - guilt shouldn't be one of them. If a book is making you feel uncomfortable or excessively guilty, put it down.

The last thing I want to say is that you should avoid buying pregnancy books before reading them. We bought all of ours (except The Mother Of All Pregnancy Books, which was a gift) and I really regret it. As I said above, I read them all early on and then didn't touch them again. Whenever I have specific questions, I tend to turn to either my midwife or the internet, so I really haven't been using these as on-going resources. If I could do it over again, I would have borrowed the books from the library to read them, and then only bought those that I could see myself using more than once.

The End of Faith by Sam Harris

Read: 4 April, 2010

After years of being told that I absolutely had to read The End of Faith and seeing Harris's TED presentation on universal morality, I finally took the plunge and bought a copy.

The book is divided into two distinct parts: the first is what doesn't work, and the second is what Harris believes will work. What doesn't work is, of course, religion. This part reads like must other Atheist books that have come out in recent years. Harris devotes a portion to each major religion, a little different than some books, perhaps, in that he addresses the Eastern religions as well. Of course, his focus is on the two major troublemakers of recent year, Christianity and Islam. The chapter on Islam includes four pages of Quranic quotes that are racist, anti-tolerance, anti-apostate, xenophobic, etc. That alone makes this book a valuable addition to a debater's bookshelf!

The second portion deals with spirituality, and a way to integrate spirituality with Atheism. Harris is a proponent of meditation. Unfortunately, many of his assumptions regarding the workings of the brain run contrary to what I've learned, some making rather strange leaps of logic and some being downright silly. Harris seems to lose his credulity in his search for "something more." That being said, I can appreciate what he's trying to do even if I don't agree with him (or think he's gone loony).

He also has the nasty habit of dropping bombs without any explanation. He's presumably writing for a sceptical audience, so it seems strange that he wouldn't devote a bit more time to explaining the concepts that would set off sceptical alarm bells. For example, he says that "there also seems to be a body of data attesting to the reality of psychic phenomena, much of which has been ignored by mainstream science" (p. 41). This particular bomb is dropped without examples or explanation, just a list of book titles in the end notes (obscure books that neither my library nor my university has ever heard of).

There were some historical inaccuracies that bugged me. For example, he refers to Isis as "the goddess of fertility, [who] sports an impressive pair of cow horns." Well, I've never seen Isis with cow horns. Her symbol was a throne with an egg on top. The cow horns belonged to Hathor. These sorts of little details really pulled me out of the book and made me wonder how much else he may have gotten wrong.

Despite some carelessness and strange choices, it's a worthwhile read. I do appreciate that he attempts to 'fill the gap' after dismantling religion, and I would like to see more of this in the mainstream Atheist discourse. I simply don't see his replacement as being any more rational than that which he seeks to replace.

The Blue Fox by Sjon

Read: 10 December, 2009

In 19th century Iceland, a priest hunts for a mythical blue fox and a girl with Down's Syndrome is mourned by her admirer. These two seemingly unrelated stories interweave into a poetic whole.

It's an enchanting tale, a modern myth, that might have worked nearly as well in verse. The story is short, easily read in an hour or two, and interesting lyrical look into Iceland's recent past.

Spirit by J.P. Hightman

Read: 15 January, 2010

Tess and Tobias Goodraven haven't been normal since being orphaned in a fire as children. Since then, they have sought to contact the 'Other Side.' When they heard that a notoriously haunted ghost town close to Salem was being re-opened to the public for a winter festival, they couldn't resist exploring the power of the three witches who never truly died. But what they find is far more dangerous than any hauntings they've encountered before.

The dust jacket of my edition says that Hightman is a screenwriter - and it shows. The novel is completely visual, as though no other sense mattered. There is little consideration for style and the timing of scares, which would work just fine in Hollywood but falls flat in print. Characters are one-dimensional. What little personality exists is told to the reader - their actions and speech rarely matching the image the narrator tries to impose. In the end, the twist was utterly predictable, made all the worse for Hightman's lack of trust in his readers as he repeats it, over and over again, in every conceivable way lest we should fail to catch his cleverness.

To say one positive thing about Spirit, the mechanics of the writing are all correct - making the book bearable if not enjoyable.

Gaius Ruso Mystery #1: Medicus by Ruth Downie

Read: 15 June, 2009

Ruso has just bought a slave. He didn't mean to, of course, but her master was treating her so roughly and she looked half-dead. Her arm is shattered and he doubts that she will live much longer, but still he bought her. Meanwhile, a woman's body has been found and ,whether he likes it or not, Ruso must solve the mystery of her murder.

It is difficult to call Medicus a detective novel because Ruso really doesn't do any investigating. Mostly, he just fumbles around in the dark, hopelessly inept in every area other than medicine, until the culprit is so unnerved by Ruso's questions that he reveals himself. Those clues that Ruso does take credit for tend to be uncovered by his slave, Tilla, or openly confided to him. This bumbling detective style makes Medicus a delightfully whimsical and ironically funny story. It's a novel only a Brit could have written.

I'm really not sure what attracts me so much to Medicus, but something certainly does. I couldn't put it down and I ordered the next book in the series within minutes of finishing the last page. I loved that while the setting was so exotic, the issues dealt with in the novel are completely relevant today.

Night Watch #1: The Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko

Read: 12 May, 2009

Anton Gorodetski is an Other, a person with magical abilities. In his world, Others come in two types: those who belong to the Light and those who belong to the Dark. These two sides are in a sort of cold war against each other, each polices the other and ensures that neither breaks the terms of their uneasy truce.

Night Watch is arranged in three parts, each an independent story in which Anton must solve a mystery and encounter the Dark Ones. The great twist of the third story is, of course, that the events of all three are actually all related, part of a great plot, and Anton must make an impossible choice that could either save the world or destroy it.

The novel is unmistakably Russian. The magic system, not to mention the model of the truce between the two factions of Others, is ruled primarily by bureaucracy. The sense of humour, too, is fundamentally Russian - as are the character personalities, the descriptions, and even Anton's final decision at the climax of the novel. All are so adorably Russian.

The bureaucracy makes the magic system interesting. While the magic system itself could allow for limitless power (something generally considered a no-no in the Fantasy genre), the bureaucracy keeps the amount of power any one individual can hold in check. It's a very unique (and uniquely Russian) solution to a common problem in Fantasy stories.

I found Night Watch to be a delightful novel. It was funny, it was interesting, it was suspenseful, clever, and so very very Russian (can I say this enough?). I highly recommend it for fans of the Fantasy genre (especially the subgenre of Urban Fantasy), as well as any Russia-aficionados.

Cadfael Chronicles #2: One Corpse Too Many by Ellis Peters

Read: 27 June, 2009

Cadfael does it again! When political strife leads to a mass execution, a murderer assumes that one corpse among many won’t be noticed. But Cadfael sees through this morbid disguise and, along with some new friends, he refuses to let the dead rest without justice.

As always, Peters delivers an excellent mystery with interesting characters and plot. Somehow, she manages to have a realistic and even dark plotline while still seeming innocent and unoffensive. There is also an element of feminist rebellion in the novel, as two women choose their own life paths.

Like most Cadfael novels, this is a pleasant and interesting read, a good mystery with good characters.

Testament by Nino Ricci

Read: 25 June, 2009

If there was a historical figure of Jesus, who was he? Where did he come from and what did he really believe and preach? Ricci explores these questions by composing four new gospels. Although independent stories, and largely covering different points in Jesus' life, there is some overlap and quite a few "ah ha! That explains it!" moments as events are told from different perspectives.

Testament imagines a human Jesus, a Jesus who is mythologized and divinized by followers who loved and depended on him and who were lost when he was suddenly ripped away from them. Jesus is also a presented as a complex individual who comes to mean different things to different people. Those around him struggle to understand him, to fit him into simplistic models, but of course these cannot accommodate real personalities (which tend to be multi-facetted and even contradictory).

I generally dislike books written from multiple perspectives. Invariably, the author's own voice shows through, making each account too similar (minus the occasional superficial difference, such as the use of phonetic accenting). But in Testament, each narrator feels like a completely separate entity. They have their own interpretations of events and pay attention to only those details that are of interest to them. Mary's story feels like a female, world-weary, and maternal narrator, while Mary Magdalene's story feels like a love-struck, hero-worshipping young girl. The construction of psychically real characters is clearly Ricci's strong suite.

Testament is a continuing story. By this I mean that while only four stories are actually told, there are many other characters throughout the novel who hint at having their own interesting perspective to talk about, their own stories. The book could easily have been far longer, but instead Ricci chose to merely hint at these other stories, to provide food for the reader's imagination long after the novel itself has been finished.

A great deal of research clearly went into the writing of Testament. It was a fun little game for me to try to identify which theory Ricci was calling upon at any given moment. While I don't personally agree with all of his choices, he did certainly manage to collate many diverse theories into a cohesive whole and, more importantly, a historically believable story.

I found this to be a very enjoyable read. Not only is in entertaining and interesting, it is also intellectual (as far as these things go). It is a book that feeds the brain without the reader even noticing and, as such, can easily be enjoyed on a number of different levels. It certainly ought to be required reading for all Atheists and doubters from a Christian tradition.